I was a bit of a lost puppy growing up, even though I always kept up a tough appearance.
I pretended to be outgoing, confident, and to not care about what people thought of me.
I was a victim to my reality...
I could never make the right decisions. I never followed my intuition. I searched outside of myself for all the answers.
I never knew how to navigate my choices and often times, I made the wrong one.
I never knew what to answer when people asked me what I liked… I mean, what did I like? I had no idea who I was! So I tried to fit into soon many boxes, none of which I found happiness in.
When did I lose touch with myself?
I have no idea when (or how) I lost touch with my true self.
The old me, she never liked herself. In fact, she really and truly hated everything about herself. She never felt like she fit into expectations.
She could never figure out who she was supposed to be or what would make her lovable. She searched HIGH AND LOW for that feeling of safety & acceptance, but the more she tried to fit in, and win people over, the more and more and grew to lose herself.
Over the last year, I have come to great self-awareness of how I had been living life unconsciously for many years.
I truly don’t ever remember a time before now, that I truly embodied my true essence. I struggled to fit in, and tried everything.
Here’s what I know about the “sleeping beauty” I was for about the last 25 years of my life :
She lacked BALANCE…
In every sense of the meaning, she lacked balance.
It started in dance class, when she heavily identified strength and flexibility on her right, with weakness and restriction in her left.
For a moment, think about the right and left sides of your body.
There are two sides of our body for a reason! The response system on the left side of the body, is named the “Parasympathetic Nervous System”. This system is responsible for allowing the body to relax, digest, and eliminate (“feminine” energy). This system acts in duality and opposition to the right side of the body, the “Sympathetic Nervous system”. This is the ACTION system (“masculine” energy).
I experienced a physiological and emotional disconnect from the left side of my body completely (my feminine energy & essence).
This disconnect started within. And then manifested into physical imbalance and eventually severe pain and tightness on my left side.
This was also reflected within my relationships.
By integrating the duality of the nervous system (masculine & feminine alchemy) finding flexibility, strength within the VAGUS nerve that conducts our ability to MASTER our nervous system to create the internal (therefore external) environment of OUR DESIGN.
Her Hormones, vibration, & rhythm were OUTTA WHACK
Hormones are ENERGY in MOTION.
As a Woman, we are meant to experience a monthly hormone cycle, with markable changes in how we behave at different times of the month.
The endocrine system consists of all the major glands within the body that secrete hormones to tell us what to do and when to do it (relax, digest, go to sleep, activate immune system).
The PINEAL Gland is the queen bee of this system! She collects VITAL information from NATURE; Science have proven the Hypothalamus & Pineal gland in the brain attunes to the moons phases, the seasons, and the time of day, to send the signals to the body for critical hormone secretion!
*When we lose the rhythm of nature we lose touch with ourselves.*
The human body is a powerful energy conductor! When we disconnect from the Universal “law of rhythm”, we lose the flow of energy vertically throughout the body.
Thus, energy stagnancy occurs and our bio-field becomes weak.
Weakening of our energy happens both indirectly and directly through choice, behaviour, beliefs, addiction, trauma, abuse, and exposure to toxins, heavy metals, and pollution.
When the Endocrine systems pineal Gland loses signal, this wreaks havoc on our metabolism, ability to assimilate nutrients, digest & secrete our food, fight illness, and ability to control our emotions & environment.
Pretend the body is made up of intricate computer systems that all have to be plugged in together, but then also to the same source . When one systems energy signal weakens, this will have a cause and effect reaction. Every system in the body is connected! By HARMONIZING the systems of the body into their intended flow, we can harness our hormones to work in our POWER…
hormones are not our enemy, they are our superpowers.
Her Subconscious was a RUNAWAY TRAIN.
I was doing ALLLL the right things. I was using affirmations, flowing, nurturing my body, and telling myself each day “I love myself”, but it STILL wasn’t true.
I did not know how to love myself.
There was a toxic internal dialogue that I tried to ignore for many years.
Almost all day, everyday, there was a dualistic conversation in my mind…a war of the worlds, “You are smart, no you are stupid” or “You are worth it, no you are worthless”.
I figured, as long as I kept the war inside my mind, I could keep up appearances in the outside world. I expected that I could control my external reality, but not deal with what was REALLY going on inside.
I was sooo wrong…
I wasn’t able to access my true potential until I became aware that it all started within ME.
Through studying and applying methodology from holistic wellness, exercise, nutritional , and neuro-science, I was able to re-write my subconscious and overwrite the neurological programming that had me DOING without THINKING: I was able to balance my nervous system (cure my anxiety) and take back control of the synapses in my body.
I addressed the subconscious, limiting beliefs that kept me sabotaging my life.
I DESIGNED my subconscious to do what I wanted it to…to communicate and signal the body what I DESIRED and DREAMT.
And so, I was able to step away from dualistic thinking, to discovering my highest self.
The higher health craft took me over 10 years to complete…
I’ve taken everything I’ve learned working in health & wellness as a Certified Personal Trainer, Fitness Model, and now Registered Health & Wellness Counsellor.
I have manifested my body of work into a beautiful method called, The Vibrancy Project.
I’m now living proof for this blissful paradigm.
I took back confidence, stopped playing the victim, and mastered my reality!